Inspired by Yunho's TRICK solo single, CLOSE TO YOU/CRAZY LIFE, i just wanted to write a title like that.
Heh. Feels like i'm more and more in love with him these days. I just dreamed about seeing him - once again XD
I'm just a girl with emotions. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. i'm just a big damn day dreamer XD
Anyway. It has been a while once again. Why?
Gosh, it's school once again. And then me being lazy.
School really kicks my butt nowadays. Very hard!
I feel like i'm getting only pain because of it.
It's actually not that bad now, we have pretty cool school subjects now, it's just damn hectic. everything.
UGGGGGGGGGHHH. and soon we'll have those subjects i hate. the teachers i don't like and stuff......
Even a thought of the coming schedule makes me almost cry! I'm already full of this crap and i know what life brings in these next few months.
moments that'll piss me off. definitely.
Then again, i have best time of my life at school.
i have only good friends and i'm having fun everyday.
why should i bother and worry about school?
well it's this:
I don't know about my future as a worker.
Or actually i know. YES, i want to be a korean translator or then something related to South Korea and Asia.
That's my main goal nowadays. But it feels like it's so far away. Still over two and hard years to finish.
PLUS, after i'm finished with upper secondary, i should go to university in Helsinki to get to learn korean.
and i know i'm not able to get in there.................. Unless i study a lot. I want to achieve my dream!
That's why my life is damn hard. Damndamndamn hard and i can't stand it. I just wish my school was already over.
Also, it will take still many years to get to South Korea.
I have been dreaming and planning for few months now that i'd go to South Korea in summer next year.
I know i am able to get money this summer again, because i'm trying to get atleast two summer jobs.
Also, the flights straight from Helsinki to Incheon begin this summer. So i'd be able to take a straight flight to Korea next year.
No problems at all, no. I have been checking out how much the tickets would cost and it's not bad at all, i could maybe afford it.
I also asked if my older brother (who is not interested in Korea or korean culture, but he likes Japan because he likes TOYOTA [XD].) could come with me and he said YES he maybe could. And he seemed to be atleast a bit interested. After all, he could maybe be able to get those TOYOTA TRD parts of his he has been dreaming of for a long while already... (he always tells me to ask some of my korean friends if they know toyota trd parts and if they could send him some -______-;;; XD).
I also have been checking out how much the hotels cost and such. But then comes the problem.
MY PARENTS.
It's always like this. They are my problem everywhere. I bet almost everyone at this age has the same problem.
One thing is though unfair in my case. I have many friends who are able to travel by themselves, ALONE.
But if i want to go with a FRIEND of mine somewhere which is not in the area of 30 km, they'll ALWAYS, ALLLLWAYS say NO.
Well of course, it's always NO at first. I am veeery good in making them change their opinions. But still, in this case, it's almost impossible.
I personally think i'd be able to handle in Korea. I can read hangul, also i can speak some and understand a bit.
I would have my OLDER BROTHER (who's now 22) with me. I'd have a life guard with me (XD).
Also, i am able to behave matured. I also know the dangers and risks which are in travelling. Plus, i'd be almost 18 then when i'd go.
So where's the problem? Well. I guess my parents are too old-fashioned. Dad also said that he has never been everywhere when he was a child.
But why can't i go and explore the world? I want to, because i want to get to know this world better. I am born to be a traveller. I LOVE travelling. And i love to get to know new cultures. I LOVE SOUTH KOREA god damn it.
It's like they put out the fire in my soul and it's not fun.
It definitely is NOT fun. I actually hate them a lot nowadays and i've been arguing with them a lot because of this issue.
So one thing which makes me very depressed. Sigh.
But still. I'm ready to fight. I'm gonna show my parents that i'm able to survive everywhere.
Urgh, i so wanna hit them to the face and say that i'm not a small child anymore.
Don't we teenagers always want to do that? HHAHA. It's sooooo ridiculous but still, we're almost all like this.
Anyways. Most of this post was full of crap, ne?
Well, i'll add something cool here then, to the end of this post~
And still, keep waiting for my latest photoshoppings. haha.
I have said this thing for many many times, but still.
I want to become better and better so that's why it takes a long while until i share my goodies~
But i'll share them - someday XD
But here's a part of Dong Bang Shin Ki's Will you be my girlfriend? (내 여자친구가 되어줄래?)- lyrics. I have always loved the song. <3
over every night and over everyday 내곁에만 머물러줘 허전한 나의 왼쪽 가슴 채워
주는 내 여자친구가 되어줄래? 잘봐, 내눈속에 니가 있잖아 I'm only a heartbeat away
----
Over every night and over every day stay by my side only.
Will you become my girlfriend to fill the empty leftside of my heart?
Look carefully, you're inside my eyes.
I'm only a heartbeat away
so i keep dreaming that someone will someday say all this to me. haha.
good night<3